So you’ve decided to write your own vows – bold move. You’ve probably Googled “how to write wedding vows” and found 147 variations of “just speak from the heart.” Helpful? Kind of. But if you're after something a little less Pinterest-perfect and a little more you, keep reading.
These tips will help you skip the clichés, find your voice, and write vows that actually feel like the two of you – whether that’s funny, emotional, unexpected or all of the above.
1. Ditch the Pressure to Be Poetic
You don’t need to write a love sonnet. You’re not submitting this to a literary journal. Some of the best vows sound like a great conversation – honest, a bit messy, deeply personal, and real.
Instead of aiming for perfection, aim for connection.
2. Don’t Start With “I Promise To...”
We’re not saying skip promises altogether – just don’t start there. Start with a story. A weird, wonderful, or totally mundane moment that says more about your relationship than a thousand big, sweeping declarations.
Think:
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“The first time we ordered dumplings and accidentally got six of the same thing...”
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“You once drove across town just to bring me the right kind of oat milk...”
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“I fell in love with you when I saw how you treat your dog like royalty...”
Real stories say everything about who you are as a couple.
3. Use a Vow Formula That’s Not Boring
Here’s one that works when you’re stuck:
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One story about how you fell in love
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One thing you admire most about them
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One ridiculous or hilarious thing you love about them (yes, even that)
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One promise that’s serious
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One promise that’s a little silly
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One reason you can’t wait to grow old together
It’s easy, it’s personal, and it gives your vows a beginning, middle, and end.
4. Write Like You Text (Kind Of)
Okay, maybe don’t actually read your vows off a Notes app. But do write like you’d speak to them in a long, heartfelt message. Use your tone. Your rhythm. Your slang. If you always call them “babe” or “legend” – use it. If you always sign off with “love you big time” – include it.
Vows aren’t a performance. They’re a love letter with a live audience.
5. Don’t Be Afraid to Be Funny
Funny vows can still be deeply romantic. Say the sweet stuff, yes – but if laughter is part of your love story, let it in.
Some ideas:
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“I vow to always say sorry first when it’s definitely your fault.”
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“I promise to love you even when your Spotify Wrapped is embarrassing.”
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“I’ll never judge how many snacks you bring to bed. In fact, I’ll bring more.”
You can be hilarious and heartfelt. Both are allowed.
6. Try Writing a List
If full sentences feel intimidating, write a list instead:
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Things I love about you
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Things I’m excited for
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Things I promise
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Things only you and I would understand
It’s a clever format, and you can keep it light or get deep depending on your vibe.
7. Embrace the Chaos
Your voice might shake. You might cry. Or laugh. Or forget a line. That’s the beauty of personal vows. They’re imperfect and unforgettable.
Write what feels true. Read it like you’re just talking to your favourite person. That’s all you really need.
